There exists a heavy weight on knowing one’s place. This is where teenagers, struggle, isn’t it? Everything is changing, things are getting crazy, and you’re in a social network of people trying to find where they fit in, where they’re meant to be, what sort of things they’ll do. The first identity search of our lives. You find the people you are with, the places you go, and the things you do depending on this search.

Although it can morph and change, sometimes even drastically, a lot of the foundational stuff that dictates where your identity is found stays the same. Music people will always identify themselves by their love for the song. Math people identify themselves by the systematic, applicable, reproducible problem solving. How do we identify ourselves spiritually? Spiritual identity takes on a whole new challenge, does it not?

This crux of identity searching is where I find myself. It is post-teen identity battle. Not knowing exactly where I am in all of this, or where He’s taking me. It’s frustrating to feel a sense of silence about it and I fall to my own struggles because I don’t know where I am supposed to be. The epitome of spiritual adolescence. It makes it difficult to act as Him being my Lord when I feel a stunning sense of silence. I feel like doing what I’m doing is the right thing, but am unsure where to take it from here. This fuels the screeching halt.